When women brag, other women suffer in silence. Many women in powerful positions boast about their ‘great’ lives – online or in person – without considering the lives of their audience. For example, a celebrity woman recently shared how ‘happy’ she is with her life on her birthday. She said ‘’I’m so happy with my life. I have a great husband, kids, and a job.’’
I understand why women share these things – it’s a way to showcase their appreciation of something, but it also garners attention, social media likes, and boosts the algorithm.
But when you are a woman in a powerful position – even if that is being a social media influencer with a thousand followers – your voice has an impact. And when your voice boasts and brags about how ‘happy’ you are, millions, if not billions, of people suffer under that comment. Yes, it may sound extreme, but it’s reality.
The individuals who suffer under those boastful, ‘happy’ comments are not as privileged. They are instead ignored and forgotten when people in high, powerful positions brag and boast.
Influential people in powerful positions rarely acknowledge those who are at a disadvantage compared to them. Because if so, it puts them in an uncomfortable position: Are they going to do something about it? However, many people in powerful positions are hesitant to do so, or don’t want to. Instead, they do the opposite, usually sharing how good their lives are while posting pictures of their luxury holidays, homes, or well-dressed families.
The Responsibility of the Privileged
Anyone in a position of authority or power needs to consider their words and actions carefully. To think before they speak. Will their words help or hinder lives? Or is what you say more based on self-interest and getting something materialistic out of it?
For a woman in a powerful or privileged position to say ‘’I am happy with my life, I have a great (fill in the blank),’’ can be a big slap to women who are genuinely struggling. Who silently cry to themselves while looking at other women of their age, having better, more comfortable lives than they do.
Women in privileged positions have a natural responsibility to use their resources to help those less fortunate and be a voice for the voiceless. Otherwise, their positions are used in vain. This applies to men, or anyone in such powerful positions, but in this article, we focus primarily on women.
Bragging as Normalcy on Social Media
It’s extremely common in person and on social media for people to brag about their accomplishments – whether that’s graduation, passing an exam, getting married, or having a baby. Especially if you’re American, the American culture is very conditioned to showing off and putting on a face of success.
If you brag about how great your life is, you have to ask yourself: How can you honestly have a great life, if billions of humans – who breathe the same air as you – are not? Do you not interact with others, see how they live their lives every day, and empathize?
Arguments Against When Women Brag, Other Women Suffer in Silence
You may argue: Why can’t a woman show off and brag? Let her! For centuries, women’s voices have been suppressed. Let her be!
She can, but her words will have an impact. She needs to consider her starting point when she shows off and brags. Why is she bragging and boasting? What does she want to get out of it? Many women brag to gain likes and further support, and boost their image. It’s self-interest-related. When you have a following, you are in a position of leadership, and when you brag or show off, you forfeit your right as an effective leader
You may argue: You’re taking their posts too personally. You’re too sensitive and need to work on your triggers.
Of course, it’s important to work on your triggers when triggering content comes up. But we’re talking about women in powerful positions bragging and boasting about how great their lives are, in front of a large audience of people genuinely struggling with life. When these women brag, others suffer in silence. It’s the same as billionaires showing off with their private jets and massive homes around the world. What purpose or good does this bring to others? It only benefits them. It’s painful to see the extreme wealth these individuals possess when families struggle to put food on the table every night.
People in power should help the powerless. They are in control, so they should use it well. However, due to fear, ego, and self-interest, people forget their own humanness, becoming disconnected from life. That’s why we need to ensure that power doesn’t change us or go to our heads. We must develop self-awareness so we don’t let this happen when or if an opportunity comes where we gain influence.
You may argue: There is nothing wrong with a woman being happy with what she has and sharing about it.
Again, the woman sharing has to look at the starting point or reason for doing so. Many women claim to be happy due to materialistic and selfish reasons. It’ll be something physical, like a car, a house, or a new job.
In the first example within this article, when a celebrity or individual with significantly more money and resources boasts or brags about their happiness, it doesn’t come across well. Especially if the audience she is reporting to is far more disadvantaged, these celebrities rarely acknowledge how they achieved their success and happiness. And if they did admit it, many people would realize that it all came down to luck, chance, or knowing the right people who helped them achieve their positions.
Gratefulness is Different
Gratefulness is different. It’s an acknowledgement of what you have, that you are genuinely thankful for. You recognize that if you didn’t have something, it would be worse. You acknowledge to yourself how lucky you are with it. This is different from bragging or boasting.
But sometimes, people can be sneaky and use gratitude to cover up bragging, by saying ‘’I’m so grateful for my husband,’’ while sharing pictures of her wedding, as a subtle way to show off. This is why it’s essential for us always to check our starting point, or the original intention behind what we say, because it may be rooted in self-interest.
Genuine gratitude is a personal feeling that only you experience, and it’s for you. It is within the understanding of how privileged you are to have whatever you are grateful for. It’s sacred and profound. Your mood lifts when you have gratitude for something.
How do We Share Our Happiness?
We must reflect and observe our starting points when we want to share how happy we are with something. Because when women brag, other women suffer in silence. Women in powerful and privileged positions have a natural responsibility to help the disadvantaged and voiceless. But due to self-interest, or fear, they don’t. They continue to show off and feed into social media algorithms to boost their image, business, and increase their earnings.
Let’s start shifting our awareness to consider the less fortunate. Let’s turn bragging into advocating. And most importantly, if we are in a powerful or influential position, let’s use it wisely.
Photo by Europeana