Have you have seen a woman and thought ”we’re the same age but looks younger than me!” We suddenly are taken back by the appearance of a woman and start comparing ourselves. However, the moment we negatively compare ourselves to another person, we are sucking out our joy. Just like the saying “comparison is the thief of joy.” And after we compare, we end up feeling depleted and discouraged.
We often compare ourselves every day: the moment we watch a video on social media, or when we see another woman in front of us, or even just thinking of someone in our minds and comparing ourselves to them – it’s a harmful habit we engage in.
Plus, it doesn’t help that society perpetuates the idea that looking good as women is important, and our value and worth go down as we age.
The older we get, the more strain and pressure we feel to maintain our appearance to reach a level we think society would approve of.
Furthermore, what happens when we compare ourselves to women our age and feel bad because they look younger than us? It’s another “women who age” problem that needs to be addressed because, once again, looks are at the forefront of utmost importance for the majority of women in this world.
Age Comparison is a Trap
When we see a woman around our age and think that she looks younger than us, there may be a few underlying points:
- We believe, on a subjective level, that they are better than us in the beauty category and thus “win” on this level, fueling inner competition.
- We believe that looking attractive as a woman is important to us, even if, deep down, it’s an unhealthy obsession.
- We are feeling inferior to the woman we are comparing ourselves to.
- We lose sight of what is truly important in the present moment.
Additionally, the problem arises from how we feel when we think another woman our age looks younger than us. Most likely after comparing, we will feel quite discouraged, depleted, and hurt. We may also feel helpless and hopeless because we realize we may never reach the physical beauty this person embodies.
Reasons a Woman May Be The Same Age but Look Younger
There are many reasons why a woman may look younger than us despite being the same age:
- In the DNA: Their genetics, race, and Ethnicity makes them look young for their age
- State of health: Their body is optimized with proper hydration, nutrition, minerals, and balanced hormones
- General care and wellness: They exercise, do massage/bodywork/self-care practices
- Lowered stress level: Because stress can show up on the face
- Access to Resources: They have the money and resources to receive services/products that support looking youthful
As you can see, there are several factors as to why a woman may appear younger than you, even when she is around your age. Therefore, please take into consideration the above points the next time you compare yourself to another woman.
And yes, it is not fair if someone has more money than you and can access the best nutrition, personal training, or beauty services. The reality of this unfairness stems from a broken and dysfunctional system.
Looks are Only One Aspect of a Person
We must remember as women that appearances can be deceiving and that you can only truly know the beauty of a person when you spend time with them.
So even if a person looks younger than you, and you perceive them as being better than you, something can happen that changes your mind. They could be a giant a-hole to you or other people, and suddenly, that beauty you admired fades because the truth of who they are seeps through their pores, and that’s what resonates.
A person’s true nature and the way they treat others can overshadow their physical looks.
Important Reminders for Self
Whenever you compare yourself to another woman, remind yourself of these things:
- The appearance of a person is only one aspect of them: You can admire their beauty, but don’t get wrapped up in it.
- Remember your skills and talents: What are you naturally good at? Don’t reflect in a arrogant, ”I’m superior to them” way – just focus on you and what you are naturally good and proud of
- You are NOT LESS than her, even if you believe she “won” in the beauty category
- Check-in with yourself: Do you feel young? Perhaps youthfulness can be a feeling, something you can redefine for yourself that is supportive and healthy
A Simple Request
It’s fine to make a note to yourself or another like wow, she looks pretty young for her age, but the moment where you compare yourself to her and feel bad about this, you need to stop and remind yourself of what is truly important – that looks are only one aspect of a person, and what matters is who you are, how you treat yourself and others.
It’s time for us as women to start making appearance less of a priority. We can instead use the energy and time we put into ‘looking good’ for things that benefit ourselves and others. We need to break free from the trap of beauty and shift our focus to living and expressing our true selves.
Featured photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash