There is a type of name-calling that is becoming increasingly common: women calling traditional women “grandma.” It’s used as a way to label them as old or traditional. A real-life example is something I’ve seen on the internet: A girl wrote that she was with a group of friends and shared that she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. Her friends then called her “grandma,” and made fun of her for that.
Using Grandma as a Label Hurts Real Grandmas
People may think that words have no meaning or impact.
Yet when a woman use the word “grandma,” as an insult – it actually hurts the true meaning of being a grandmother.
Grandmothers are some of the most wonderful individuals we can have in this world. Many of us are fortunate to have grown up with a caring and loving grandmother in our lives.
Additionally, being a grandmother is one of the most sacred and wonderful experiences. Why would another woman want to desecrate that part of life by using it as an insult? It hurts women by nature. And when we hurt women’s nature of being grandmothers, we are subconsciously trying to stop that part of life.
Young Women Calling Traditional Women Grandma are Hypocritical
If a young woman who is not a grandmother calls another woman grandma and uses it as an insult, it’s hypocritical.
How can you in your right mind call someone a grandmother if you are not one yourself?
The power behind labeling someone “grandma” is the judgment attached to it:
Suppose you are someone who calls another woman ‘grandma’. In that case, you are judging someone for what you perceive to be old or have traditional beliefs or behavior – and to you, that’s wrong. Judgement comes from what you believe is right and wrong, good or bad.
If you are judging women for waiting until marriage to have sex, you believe sex after marriage is “wrong/bad.”
So, instead of calling someone a grandma, you should say, “I am judging you for having what I perceive to be old and traditional beliefs and/or behaviors. And I find that wrong and bad.” But to say that so directly makes you sound like an a-hole!
So you can see that people who give place labels on people are trying to cover up being an a-hole.
Traditional is Okay if it’s Healthy
There is nothing wrong with having a traditional mindset or lifestyle as long as it’s healthy for you and your family. “Healthy” in this regard means that it produces an outcome that supports the mental health and physical well-being of everyone around you.
Perhaps what is deemed ‘traditional’ or ‘old’ is something we all need to revisit and adopt.
10 Reasons Why Using the Term Grandma to Label Traditional-Thinking Women is Not Cool
- Suppose the Universe/God/Life allows you to live until you are old and become a grandmother. Will you regret using “grandma” to judge people when you were younger? What if you hear younger women use that term while you’re a grandmother yourself? You would be experiencing your consequences.
- Using “grandma” in the context of judging or labeling someone is a manipulation technique: You want the other person to feel bad for what they said or did to make you look or feel better. Calling someone a “grandma” has an impact and provokes emotion, hence manipulating people more.
- You equate “grandmother” with someone or something being more traditional. However, let me tell you, there are millions of grandparents with diverse mindsets and lifestyles that you could find to be just as progressive or modern. So, labeling someone “grandma” is not entirely accurate, as what you’re probably really trying to do is label someone as “old” or “traditional.”
- If a woman has more traditional beliefs than you, and this triggers you, that requires you to do the deep work. You need to uncover why it makes you uncomfortable or evokes an emotional response. The woman with a traditional belief is helping you look at something within yourself – see this as a gift of self-introspection.
- Judging women for having different beliefs than you allow other women to judge your beliefs. When you accept and allow something to exist in your world, you’re going to attract people in your life who will do the same thing.
- Women who use the term “grandma” to hurt other women are not true warriors of female empowerment and solidarity. They are instead pro-conflict and misogynistic – not for harmony, support and peace.
- We often forget that words have an impact and shape people. You do not want to be the person who creates low self-esteem in an individual, which affects them for a long time in their life. We forget about karma and how our actions and words come back to us.
- “But I’m not trying to be mean,” you may claim after you called a woman grandma. But if you dig deep, you wanted to hurt and manipulate. There was something about the other woman that made you uncomfortable and triggered you to say it.
- It is very upside-down to take an innocent phase of life that a woman may become and make it into something shameful. Especially when spoken by younger women who are not grandmothers, it’s very sad and shows how little self-awareness they have.
- The media and the internet foster the idea that being sarcastic and belittling others is cool. But in reality, it’s not. Especially in a group of women, calling another woman ‘grandma’ is not cool. Real coolness is supporting and lifting women.
Time to Stop Name-Calling
They are individuals who undermine genuine female solidarity and empowerment.
Let’s start being more aware of how we are using words with one another.
Let’s start being kind, compassionate, and considerate of others.
Let’s stop hurting people and labeling people – people are more than labels.
Featured photo by Photo by Thomas Murphy