I was listening to a podcast hosted by a celebrity woman. She shared that despite living a natural lifestyle, the one thing that isn’t natural for her is having silicone implants. She managed to get it done after breastfeeding her kids. Her reasons were that she wanted to wear a t-shirt without a bra and feel more comfortable when taking her top off in front of her male partner. Her reason for getting a boob job to feel more confident when intimate with a guy made me realize how a woman’s insecurity about her breasts probably come from men.
Positive and Negative Messages Towards Female Breasts
Ever since we were young, we’ve been bombarded with messages about how attractive and desirable certain breasts are on women. Particularly, fuller and higher set on the chest.
Breasts have been depicted and even illustrated by men in ancient artwork and sculptures from centuries past. We can’t help but get the impression that there must be something wrong with our breasts, if ours are different looking from what is admired and appreciated in the world. It’s not typical to see the breasts of a 50-year-old woman in artwork, for example. So we are limited in what we see with a specific body part in the world.
Both men and women are socially conditioned to want and desire a particular type of look for breasts, which harms both in the end. Most unsettling, we lose touch with the root of it all.
Safety and Survival for a Woman’s Insecurity About Her Breasts
I read a forum post some time ago that women in strip clubs with boob jobs get more money thrown at them than women who don’t. This shows how the look of a woman’s breasts is connected to survival. And somehow, we’ve attached great importance to pleasing men by having certain-looking breasts, which is subjective and dependent on every person.
Men have been programmed just as much as women on what is a desirable body type, so getting into a relationship with a man can be difficult if he already has wishes on how he wants his woman’s breasts to look. And if she, for example, has breasts that are not aligned to what he ‘likes’ or ‘prefers’, the woman will feel unsafe. He becomes a threat to her – her safety within herself and her body are threatened.
At worst, he may treat her poorly, comment about her breasts negatively, or pressure her to get a boob job. He is warped into believing that appearance is more important than the person. He can act as if her body is a personal problem for him, because it does not fit his ideal in his mind, or from other breasts she saw on a woman. And this can create a deep problem in the relationship, all because the man was conditioned to prefer a certain appearance over the person. The woman has two choices to feel safe: Leave him or get a boob job.
Suppose there were no men on this planet. In that case, I am sure we would not be insecure about our breasts because there would be no survival incentive or reason to optimize our breasts.
Women Need Healthy Men
Women need men. We need them to protect us from the dangers of this world. However, unfortunately, a lot of men these days have become the exact opposites: Predators, untrustworthy and unsafe beings to deal with.
It is challenging these days to find a man who accepts a woman’s body for what it is, without issue.
A woman needs a man she feels safe with; this is the fundamental, primal desire of a woman, just as a man’s fundamental, primal desire is power. If the man already has issues with his woman’s body, she is going to feel it and know she is not physically secure with him.
Unfortunately, the world system has warped men to become the predators, lose purpose, and turn to alcohol, drugs, prostitution/porn – whatever feeds men’s weaknesses that profits the system.
A ‘real man’ is a provider, a protector to his family and those most vulnerable: women and children. If his mind is tainted, then the man cannot become that: The women and children are unsafe, and the world becomes dangerous. The man must protect and provide for his home and family. It gives him the greatest purpose; it makes him feel like a man. It boosts his testosterone, which is healthy for him, as this is the natural essence of a man.
If men rose in their masculine power, protecting the most vulnerable, and found the world/system a threat, they would fight to change it so their loved ones are safe.
However, the system doesn’t want men to fight or challenge it, so it exploits their weaknesses and uses them against them, ultimately weakening them. Some of these weaknesses are allowing easy, free access to pornography, which perpetuates viewing and treating women as objects. Men’s brains are biologically attuned to see women objectively because certain features determine fertility and good genes for procreation. Of course, men should strive to see beyond appearances and treat women with respect – but still, there is a biological reason why women’s bodies are appealing and important to men.
It’s Not About Breasts, Per Se, but What They Symbolize to Men
There are studies done on the type of breasts men are attracted to. Why money is going to these studies is beyond me, other than what I believe is feeding into learning about men to utilize their desires for profit. And of course, to find ways to increase a woman’s insecurity about her breasts so she can put money into companies to stop it.
For example, if the majority of a group of men like a certain type of breast, that type of breast look/image may be pumped out more in the world, for consumption purposes, and to further affect women’s self-esteem so they get boob jobs done.
This example suggests that many of these companies today prioritize profit over what is best for humans.
If we take a step back and look at why men desire certain breasts, you can be sure it’s because of what they symbolize to them. Women with full breasts, for some, can symbolize nourishment, warmth, or care, aspects that many men want in a woman. If breasts are higher up or ‘perky,’ this can be associated with words such as youthfulness or fertility.
This also then begs the question: Should women not take a man’s opinion on their breasts personally? Because then it’s not about how the breasts look, but actually about what they symbolize to a man. It’s about the man’s relationship to the words/meaning behind what he sees.
The vocabulary used about breasts to scare women
‘’Tiny.’’ ‘’Saggy.’’ ‘’Flat.’’
The words we use to describe our breasts are not as important as the energy and tone behind them. Tiny is tiny, but if there is an energy of disgust when we say that word about our breasts, that’s where the problem comes in. The same for when we say ‘’saggy’’ or ‘’flat,’’ what are we meaning behind those words?
It’s crucial for us as women to become more aware of what we mean when we describe our body parts. Usually, there is a negative tone behind what we say, which is what we need to work on if we want to develop a healthy relationship with ourselves and our bodies.
Generally, there is a tendency for women to bash their bodies in front of other women and use it as a bonding tool. But this is an unhealthy, unsupportive thing for all women.
A shift should occur where we no longer make negative comments about our bodies to ourselves or each other. We instead need to form a relationship where we acknowledge the condition and state of our body, assessing what our body is trying to communicate to see if we can help it.
Education on the Body for the Masses
There should be more emphasis and education for both men and women on how gravity, aging, breastfeeding, and weight loss naturally shape and change breasts. Additionally, genetics, nutrition, and exercise also play a role in breast appearance and health. This increase in awareness and education should also stop a woman’s insecurity about her breasts from happening.
If there were a more grounded, practical approach to women’s bodies and how factors change/shape them, I’m sure our relationship would be more stable.
But companies wouldn’t be able to profit from women who are fine about their breasts.
Even if a woman were to get a breast enhancement, there are side effects, some disastrous and long-term. Plus, you’d have to get implants replaced every 10-20 years, on top of having to endure the impact of chemicals leaching into your brain and bloodstream. We don’t know the cumulative effect that the breast enhancement chemicals can have on hormones years down the line.
Even with breast implants and enhancements, you’re keeping up with a facade, hiding a real suppression and insecurity that will eventually emerge when your breasts start needing repair. You’re not addressing the root problems that led to you getting one in the first place.
Self-Love for Self’s Breasts is Key
Yes, many men accept and find natural breasts great and fine, and who love their women no matter how their body looks. But sometimes the insecurity is so deep in a woman that she has to work on herself for a long time to come to terms with and accept it.
In the time to come, we’ll explore ways and solutions on how a woman can start loving and accepting her breasts no matter what the world (or men) may tell her.
And if you read this far – thank you! It means a lot you’re here and I hope to see you again soon.
Photo by Rusty Watson